It was another day of fighting my urge to call her…
It’s been six months since she never texted me. I broke up with her because I can’t handle everything that was happening in her life. It felt like a prison to me. I can’t breathe and it choking me on. Despite that, I should have still stayed.
It was the lowest point of her life and yet I just shrug it off. I shouldn’t have left her. Thinking about all those memories we had made me feel homesick. Her embrace was my home, her smile was my strength, and her love was my wealth. For weeks she begged me to take her back but I’m too busy feeding my own ego. I was too angry and too disgusted to see good things that ever happened. Now she doesn’t even talk to me or even sent me messages. She moves on while I’m stuck in the past. I can’t see all her statuses and photos now since she blocked me on Social media just a month ago. I am still secretly wishing she will call me one day and telling how much she misses me. I know I’m stupid for letting her go. I know I’m not worth for her and this was my punishment.
Wherever I looked, I saw her smile, I saw her brown eyes, and I heard her laugh. She always appears in my dreams, in my thoughts, and in every woman that I dated. I try to look for her but I couldn’t find her anywhere. I love her so much and I know losing her was the biggest mistake I ever had. I wanted to return to the day she texted me that her life had been too miserable. We fight because she thought I’m just reading her messages. The truth was I just didn’t know how to respond from that time but if God had given me a chance, I won’t break up with her. I would try to help her in every possible way I could. If only if I wasn’t a coward.
*Ring, ring, ring, ring*
There’s someone that was calling me…..
I look at the caller I.D and her name exactly pop out on my screen.
“Oh my god! It’s her!”
I know from the moment I saw her name, my heart jumped out of my chest. I had been waiting for this call all my life. Now, she finally called me.
“Hello?” I spoke to another line.
Her sweet voice is ringing in my ears.
Please, say you miss me and everything would be alright, my princess. I promise I won’t leave you this time. I promise I would stay on your side during your anxiety attacks. I promise I love you until the end. I will do anything for you, just say you want me back. I miss you.
“Yes?” I answered back.
I can hear the excitement in her voice and how she had been through these past six months.
“Can I meet you up at the park? What time are you available?”
” I’m always available.” I found myself saying that without much thinking. I quickly regain my composure by telling her this:
“Ah, no. I’m sorry. I’m available at eleven.” I looked up at the wall clock that was hanging down my ceiling. It’s past nine so it’s a perfect timing. I have two hours to prepare for myself.
“Okay See you there.”
As soon as she hung up the phone, I went straight to bath and shaved all my excesses hair as well as trying to get a good shave with my shoulder-length hair. Then I style it down according to how she likes to style my hair back then. I remember how she softly caressed my hair with her long finger while telling me how good looking I am. This time, I need to be more representable. I need to show to her that I am looking forward to meeting her once more and secretly hoping to be more than her friend.
I arrived before ten, nervously tapping my shoes. How was my look? Do I look handsome today? Does she notice my outfit today? Are we going out on a date? Will she…
Before I could even practice the line of what I wanted to say to her, she already appeared.
Her appearance dramatically change. She’s slimmer than she was before and she colored her hair with blonde. She was now wearing a revealing V neck dress. She looks breath-taking. Then, she sat down next to me and smile.
“How are you these past few months?”
She asked me. I forgot what I need to say next. I forgot everything I had practiced before I even saw her. There’s something with her smile that I had never seen before. It’s shinning and full of energy. I answered to her with a trembling voice.
“I’ve been doing really good. Ho-how about you?”
She smiled once again that enough to stop my world, then she handed me an envelope.
A white envelope with her face smiling wearing a white veil casual dress while holding into a much older man. He was hugging next to her while planting her cheeks with a kiss. My whole world fell and I went into denial and confusion. I re-read once again what was written there but now I regret everything.
You’re sad because he dump you?
Be glad that he does,
You’re worth is more than the man who friend zoned you,
Show to him that he lost a sapphire like you.
One day you will find that one last guy for you.
Treated you like a precious jade and love you so true
Then you’ll realized all along you’re just crying for a stone
And not from a diamond you were truly belong.
Once a dreamer, once a loser
Once a beggar on the street
Now with much power and money under his sleeve,
He forgets the humbleness in his self.
Now with everything he could buy,
He steps onto the back of poor people and let them die
He was blinded with money and material things.
He stole the only penny left for his expense.
He grew selfish and proud
Until one day he went bankrupt,
He roams outside the street begging for food and water,
Because of his rudeness, no one ever care.
Now dying, his one last wish as a beggar living in the street
That his body will be buried with a peanut seed underneath,
So when it will grow the people can eat
The fruit of his own greediness.
Once a dreamer, once a loser
Once a rich man, once a winner
Now an old man dying on the street
And a wish of a single peanut seed
To be planted on his grave.
“Slowly, he traces his hand behind her back while sending chills through her spine. She knows that this isn’t the right time but she can’t help herself. Jason pulls her far deeper, enhancing every sense of her being. He plays his tongue inside her mouth that leaves her feeling dizzy. Her body becomes weak and she feels so vulnerable to him. Like a candle melting from the flame above its head. Every kiss pulls her deeper from his intensity, every move takes her away from her own solitude, and every breath he makes tells her how deeply he adores her. This time, she was sure; this time, it was no mistake, and this time she wins. Alas! She found him.” – Tara Nicole
It’s been a while since Tara dated any man. For almost four years, she occupied herself with work and responsibilities. She does it not because she wants promotion but because of one simple reason. Forget her ex-fiancée, Josh. Only at this time, she will worry less because she has now Jason with her side, the guy who saves her before she drowns herself in the depths of suicide.
She is now happy whenever she’s with him. Neither one of them admits their feelings but she secretly hoping they will end up together. Today, Jason invited her to a barbecue party in their townhouse. She was walking across a group of women that is talking about the new hot guy who is tending the barbecue. The three girls are debating who will approach first and the redhead girl wins.
Tara is intrigued so she decided to follow. She is surprised to see that it was Jason whom they are talking about. The red hair girl approaches with seductive eyes asking how old he is and while the other girls are directly flirting with him.
She felt a pang of jealousy injected through her veins and she blushes suddenly not because of butterflies she felt whenever she saw him but because of her insecurity. The girls possess the body of a model and all of them are beautiful. Besides, there’s nothing special about her and Jason, except for the few kisses they shared in the past.
She distracted herself before she even started remembering what happened to them last night. She approaches, Jason instead while he’s still tending the barbeque and the three girls are still there. He seems so pleased to see her that he drops the rest of the oil to the ground. Tara laughs sarcastically.
“Hey?” he said while putting his left hand into motion.
“I thought you couldn’t come because of Cecile.”
“Cecile is in good condition now. She just needs to take some rest and lots of vitamins. She will be discharged next week,” she said.
“Good to know that. We can spend time with each other again.”
He leans closer to whisper in her ears.
She immediately feels the magnet traveling through her back. Like a positive and negative meet at the end and starts a spark. She looks at him and he looks at her. Revealing all the words they wanted to say. Jason touches her cheek. She feels his hand, so warm and cozy. His hand travels through her neck, on her shoulders, her arms, and her waist, then holds her tightly and bring her to a cottage away from the people’s spying eyes.
She confesses to him that she’s kind of nervous about their situation. Jason’s brother was here and he might know that the two of them are dating. Even if Jason doesn’t confess, she knows he feels the same. If his brother will know, he might kick her out of the company.
“What are we going to do if your brother will find it out?”
He squeezes her hands to assure her that she doesn’t have to worry about anything. He went closer to her and brushes off the tip of his nose against hers.
“I already know what I need to do.”
She smells his intoxicating breath. It smells like a vanilla and strawberry. She heard his heartbeat too. Pumping against her bare chest.
No, it wasn’t his heartbeat. It was hers.
“Let’s go inside.”
Jason speaks in a husky masculine voice.
“Wha-what are we going to do?”
“I just want you to relax. You’re pretty tense.”
He looks, even more, deeper into her eyes and he reads her like an open book. There is nothing so vulnerable than to have someone who can turn you like a crazy person in just one second. She sees the world stop right in front of her and the only thing that is ticking is her heart. He might not be the first man to own it but he will be her last.
He leads her into the cottage and pushes her body into the bed. He then lowers his head and kisses her while touching every inch of her body and moaning her name.
Slowly, he traces his hand behind her back while sending chills through her spine. She knows that this isn’t the right time but she can’t help herself. Jason pulls her far deeper, enhancing every sense of her being. He plays his tongue inside her mouth that leaves her feeling dizzy. Her body becomes weak and she feels so vulnerable to him. Like a candle melting from the flame above its head. Every kiss pulls her deeper from his intensity, every move takes her away from her own solitude, and every breath he makes tells her how deeply he adores her. This time, she was sure, this time, it was no mistake, and this time, she wins. Alas! She found him. The one that is right for her.
He takes off her clothes while slowly going down her neck, touching her thighs. He knows his way around her because she’s already screaming with ecstasy. His hard chest is against her and he’s pushing her deeper into the bed. She feels he’s torso against her and the igniting passion inside them. She wants him so bad that even words can’t explain. She knows that after this, she will confess. She will confess how much she loves him because if she doesn’t, she might regret it forever.
I had a pretty good week. i am usually the guy who’s always super negative about everything but I am trying to change that. Sure I know i haven’t been posting that much these past 2 weeks but I posted something…at some point. I felt super tired this week for no reason. I been taking it pretty easy at work but that stupid headache just won’t leave me alone. My boss has left work…permanently. It was for the best but i am going to miss the guy. I haven’t sold a single shirt this week and it’s making me sad. https://shop.spreadshirt.com/tress/ <<== go on this link and buy a shirt if you have the spare change…I will truly appreciate it and the shirt are mango certified good 🙂 Yeah to make things worst i had spend a lot of money for class and other stuff. I haven’t spent so much money in one week like this in a while!!! Okay I said I was going to be positive but I haven’t said anything nice yet. This week i started watching a few good shows (My Love Story!!, Into The Badlands, The Promise). I prayed more than i usually do so that’s also good. the best part of it all i had plenty of mango!!! The part was that they were mostly good quality mango. I haven’t had those in a while so that was truly refreshing. I talked to super awesome people like my friend’s friend who sends my messages for me. yeah she is somehow more busy then me and its our only way of communicating. Her messages always brighten up my day 🙂 I hope she gets back to me soon. Like I said I had a pretty good week all things considered. Don’t forget to pick up a shirt here ==>> https://shop.spreadshirt.com/tress/ and please tell me about your week 🙂
There is so much to talk about I don’t even where to begin. I could talk about TV shows I been watching and, do some reviews. But this isn’t what this blog about, the last time I decided to do a review it didn’t go so well. I could talk about my terrible decisions, like how I decided to abandon the person who care for me the most to be alone. It’s a weird and long story and I am not sure if all of it makes sense. Like does it makes sense to love someone but at the same times to want to be alone? I like being alone and it’s the best way for me not to hurt people. I not sure if she would understand or you would. I could talk about my current projects, like my new shop https://shop.spreadshirt.com/tress?noCache=true but i am not sure if that too self absorbed. I am back and there is a lot of catching up to do…starting next Saturday 😉
People go on with their lives, ignoring what is around them,
They are too busy with their tasks to spare even a thought,
To the glory of what is unfolding all around them,
They all have eyes but they don’t bother to see,
They all have ears but they don’t care to listen,
I sit in my car as I drive along to where I’m going,
Yet I can see and hear the joy that is to be known,
My heart leaps, spurred by fierce anticipation,
I see the steady brightening of the sky,
I hear the cheerful rejoicing of birds,
Then at last a beam of light breaches the horizon,
The first warm, golden rays of the rising sun,
I smile as I greet the coming of the dawn,
I behold the gift of a precious, new day,
I know better than to take it for granted.
This week’s artist of the week is non other that amazingly talented Rere Charle. I feel like I should apologize first because some of the pictures of him used in the videos of his are a little crusty but to me this guy to me is a living legend. If I was to talk about his full bio, it would take me days!!! I will try to give you the gist of it in a few lines here. He is a christian social activist. He was fled Haiti in the 80’s to safe himself from death treats he got from the goveremnt because of his controversial musics. He uses his music to describe the social situation of a oppress nation! If that isn’t cool enough to find this dude interesting well, let me tell you that he has 12 kids….12!!! This has nothing to do with music but this fact always amazed me about him. He did them all with one wife of course since like I said he is he really by the book Pentecostal Christian. His music is just genius and most of well know music is done with his trusty Choir! Yeah I mean how many musicians do you know that have 12 kids (with one wife) is part maestro/solo artist that sings about God, social problems, and evil governments?. Despite all of that what people really about are mostly are his lyrics. They are smart, witty, and just simply talk about the things wish we all want to say with this messed up generation if we had a voice. He sings a lot about God and all but like a lot of musician is very relatable to the average man. This guys is not in it for the money, he is about social Justice and spreading the word of God and hope to a dying nation. I wish a lot more people would speak Haitian Kreyol here because learning just to hear what he has to say is 100% worth it! The song I going to share today is called “La Verite” which is french for “The Truth”. It’s not his best musical work but is really iconic for all Haitian because in this song he talks about The things he finds true in this world, and how some people wants to hide it. He wrote it this one in the early 80’s when Haiti was under the rule of a fearless Dictator. I want to know what you guys think of this guy really because to all Haitian Christian or not, he is just awesome. Let me know in the comments an I hope you guys enjoy 🙂