Tag Archives: Relationships

In the Eyes of a “Suicidal”

People often misunderstood why depressed people took suicide. It wasn’t because we were weak and pathetic human beings. Suicidal people were more than just that. We were hero of our own suffering. In our lives, we were the giver, the most misunderstood and the  most mistreated. You don’t know about our story. You just know, that people like us, kill ourselves because we give up on what life could gave to us, or because we were plainly stupid. You didn’t even know what we were going through. Even the cuts in our hands weren’t enough to tell you how we really feel. Everyone has a story to tell and it doesn’t mean that someone was depressed, they were already weak. The truth was we tried. There were always a point in our lives when we regret what we were doing and there were points in our lives when we told ourselves, “We can do it.” But because of some “inconsiderate” and “judgmental” human beings that instead lift us, put as even more into the depths of depression, and because of how the events was turning, we decided to push it through.

Depression wasn’t just because of stress, problems and anxiety. It also covers the emotional and mental state of the person. There were deeper reasons why we kill ourselves and one of those was you. If you wanted us to stop it, then give us a helping hand, support us and understand. We were just an imperfect human being like you. Fighting depression when everyone was contributing nothing was pretty hard. I can compare it to a cancer that once spread in the body, doctors have had harder time to cure it.

That’s how we see suicide. I repeat, we were not pathetic, nor stupid, nor weak. WE were just people with incurable disease. Please stop judging because it wasn’t your life to begin with. Who knows? Maybe at some point in your life you will feel the same? Who knows maybe you’ll understand how we really feel inside and who we really want to be.

Suicidal people weren’t crazy. We were mostly the people who were happy and easy to please with but at the same time, has the biggest regret. We regret how things turn into us and why we can never control it? Why every time the problem was solved, there were even more bigger problems to come. We don’t need your opinions and advises. WE need your ears to listen and eyes to open how “suicidal” people like me cope with idealistic standard of the society.

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Serendipity

Across the border line of solitude,

Is the yearning of one soul’s cross.

  Just like a sheep who lost her mob,

A woman’s heart without a love.

 

But the alteration is yet to come.

The coldness shall be filled with warm.

Ill-fated is now gone.

The sun is yet to shine.

 

Susurrus talisman come knocking to her door

Bringing her with enormous treasure

Her hopes comes in the highest soar

 Serendipity you never expect for.

reversefulllogo

Another Rose is Blooming

“Slowly, he traces his hand behind her back while sending chills through her spine. She knows that this isn’t the right time but she can’t help herself. Jason pulls her far deeper, enhancing every sense of her being. He plays his tongue inside her mouth that leaves her feeling dizzy. Her body becomes weak and she feels so vulnerable to him. Like a candle melting from the flame above its head. Every kiss pulls her deeper from his intensity, every move takes her away from her own solitude, and every breath he makes tells her how deeply he adores her. This time, she was sure; this time, it was no mistake, and this time she wins.  Alas! She found him.” – Tara Nicole

 

It’s been a while since Tara dated any man. For almost four years, she occupied herself with work and responsibilities. She does it not because she wants promotion but because of one simple reason. Forget her ex-fiancée, Josh. Only at this time, she will worry less because she has now Jason with her side, the guy who saves her before she drowns herself in the depths of suicide.

 

She is now happy whenever she’s with him. Neither one of them admits their feelings but she secretly hoping they will end up together. Today, Jason invited her to a barbecue party in their townhouse. She was walking across a group of women that is talking about the new hot guy who is tending the barbecue. The three girls are debating who will approach first and the redhead girl wins.

 

Tara is intrigued so she decided to follow. She is surprised to see that it was Jason whom they are talking about. The red hair girl approaches with seductive eyes asking how old he is and while the other girls are directly flirting with him.

 

She felt a pang of jealousy injected through her veins and she blushes suddenly not because of butterflies she felt whenever she saw him but because of her insecurity. The girls possess the body of a model and all of them are beautiful. Besides, there’s nothing special about her and Jason, except for the few kisses they shared in the past.

 

She distracted herself before she even started remembering what happened to them last night. She approaches, Jason instead while he’s still tending the barbeque and the three girls are still there. He seems so pleased to see her that he drops the rest of the oil to the ground. Tara laughs sarcastically.

 

“Hey?” he said while putting his left hand into motion.

“I thought you couldn’t come because of Cecile.”

 

“Cecile is in good condition now. She just needs to take some rest and lots of vitamins. She will be discharged next week,” she said.

 

“Good to know that. We can spend time with each other again.”

He leans closer to whisper in her ears.

 

She immediately feels the magnet traveling through her back. Like a positive and negative meet at the end and starts a spark. She looks at him and he looks at her. Revealing all the words they wanted to say. Jason touches her cheek. She feels his hand, so warm and cozy. His hand travels through her neck, on her shoulders, her arms, and her waist, then holds her tightly and bring her to a cottage away from the people’s spying eyes.

 

She confesses to him that she’s kind of nervous about their situation. Jason’s brother was here and he might know that the two of them are dating. Even if Jason doesn’t confess, she knows he feels the same. If his brother will know, he might kick her out of the company.

 

“What are we going to do if your brother will find it out?”

 

He squeezes her hands to assure her that she doesn’t have to worry about anything. He went closer to her and brushes off the tip of his nose against hers.

 

“I already know what I need to do.”

 

She smells his intoxicating breath. It smells like a vanilla and strawberry. She heard his heartbeat too. Pumping against her bare chest.

 

*Thug-thug-thug-thug*

 

No, it wasn’t his heartbeat. It was hers.

 

“Let’s go inside.”

Jason speaks in a husky masculine voice.

 

“Wha-what are we going to do?”

 

“I just want you to relax. You’re pretty tense.”

 

He looks, even more, deeper into her eyes and he reads her like an open book. There is nothing so vulnerable than to have someone who can turn you like a crazy person in just one second. She sees the world stop right in front of her and the only thing that is ticking is her heart. He might not be the first man to own it but he will be her last.

 

He leads her into the cottage and pushes her body into the bed. He then lowers his head and kisses her while touching every inch of her body and moaning her name.

 

“Tara, Tara….”

 

Slowly, he traces his hand behind her back while sending chills through her spine. She knows that this isn’t the right time but she can’t help herself. Jason pulls her far deeper, enhancing every sense of her being. He plays his tongue inside her mouth that leaves her feeling dizzy. Her body becomes weak and she feels so vulnerable to him. Like a candle melting from the flame above its head. Every kiss pulls her deeper from his intensity, every move takes her away from her own solitude, and every breath he makes tells her how deeply he adores her. This time, she was sure, this time, it was no mistake, and this time, she wins.  Alas! She found him. The one that is right for her.

 

He takes off her clothes while slowly going down her neck, touching her thighs. He knows his way around her because she’s already screaming with ecstasy. His hard chest is against her and he’s pushing her deeper into the bed. She feels he’s torso against her and the igniting passion inside them. She wants him so bad that even words can’t explain. She knows that after this, she will confess. She will confess how much she loves him because if she doesn’t, she might regret it forever.

Cheap fun late night ideas?

So I have this friend I want to hang out with but is always busy. I really busy too because I have work, school and everything else in between. After making some modification to my schedule I found that the only time we have free are nights. We are working on this project together right now but I am kind of getting tired of it. I want to take a break but with my limited schedule I don’t know what to do. I am on a budget so there are some things I just can’t do right now. I was wondering if you the readers would be interested in helping me out with a few ideas on what activity can be done at night with little money. What do you guys think I should do?

Whatever Remains

The remnants of the night tend to linger in my clothes;

the scent of liquor won’t leave my vest,
nor will that girl’s perfume, who was trying her best
my favorite shirt still smells of cigarette smoke,
or the drunken breath of the older bloke
the unsynchronised beats of the music failed to entice me
no sweat seeped into my skirt, I didn’t set myself free
nor did I get lost in the ogling man’s eyes,
turning him down was his most unpleasant surprise
I didn’t come close to anyone’s lips,
that reeked of mistakes and unfortunate slips
I went home with a friend, who remained by my side
kissed him good night, let everything else slide

And the following morning, when only memories remain
I can wash out the proof of their existence, though to me, it’s all the same
Because at least I can make all these disappear,
while you, I cannot
you are always right here
in my mind, never to be forgot

BY: Sara TK