I’m sorry if I made a mistake in falling in love with you. I never thought that I’m so stupid to fall into all sorts of traps you held me. I’m too beautiful for your taste, too beautiful to get rejected, and too worthy of chasing you. I’m sorry if I constantly ask you to be mine once again but I’m tired. Now that I open up my eyes to the real world and the real life, I stop chasing you. Maybe you’re the perfect of all the guys I’ve dated but I’m worth more than a million pounds of diamonds. One day you look back and regret the day you left me. One day you will realize how worth it I am and how foolish you are to ever let me go. I never cheated on you. I give you all the free time I had and give you the space you want. All you gave me was heartache. You’re not worth it. You maybe became a part of me and a sweet romantic guy I know but you’re too immature to face the true challenges of a relationship. It may take sometime before you realize how irrational you’re reasons are for breaking up with me. By those times, I’m free.
I’m sorry if I believe in every “I love you’s” that you said. I know that something is wrong with my head. I eat bugs and drink their pee that I’m too intoxicated in everything that you had said. You took advantage of my innocence. Only time will know who will remain as a winner but by those times I make sure you’ll regret it. Damn! I wasted my time on a bastard like you.
You wanted to know what is going on in my head right now? Well, in my head you’re a person I hate to see and the person I want to suffer. I know it’s bad but I want you to know how mess I am inside. I will run away from you now because tomorrow, somebody will save me from all your memories. Then at that time, you’ll realize you’re mistaken. By now, you can be happy with who you are with. I won’t let our past be the hindrance for me to find the right guy who knows MY WORTH.
It was all coming back again; the thoughts, the madness, the anxiety, and the stress I’ve been dealing with for these past years. It’s killing me softly. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I wanted to end all of these sufferings with just a click of a gun. I had never been trusted by anyone around me. I was working on my own. Pay the house rent and expenses for school. My family? They all disowned me. My dad never even appreciates all I achieved. All he could see was mistakes and mistakes alone. I worth just a trashcan to them and I don’t deserve this kind of treatment. I deserve to be respected and trusted. They bring me to this world and I never ask them to bring me and just treat me like this.
I had a break up too just ten days ago. This guy just broke up with me because he can’t take the pressure I’m giving into the relationship. Because I had too much problem but I guess it’s not the only reason. Moving on with too much problem is very hard but I am trying my best to do so. I am praying that writing this can help with my depression. I know I’m not the only one having these thoughts. All I could say is fight. We still had ourselves to lean on. People can never understand us. They never would.
Support you in everything. Either problems or just your decision-making, he’s there reminding you that you have his back.
There’s no thing as “too busy”. He will always make time for you whenever he can.
He never lies about who’s with him and where he is.
He’ll tell you when everything is too much. Like your actions are not good anymore for the benefits of the two of you.
He will never cheat. Never. Because every time he was tempted, he thinks of you first before his own ego.
He accepts whatever color and sizes you are. For his eyes, you will always be beautiful and he will always love you.
In terms of big problems, he stays strong for you and showed you that no matter what happen, there will always another way around.
He’ll always stay gentleman like the first day. He wont take advantage on you.
He always has patience no matter how longer you takes to dress or no matter how immature you are, he’s always has patience for you.
He forgives you no matter how big it is.
Lastly, you just know it.
Always trust your instinct. If he haven’t done anything suspicious then it’s not worth arguing for. In these days, finding a man who will stay for you even against all the odds is very rare. So please took care of your man and just don’t look at the physical beauty. It doesn’t matter how handsome he was. What matter most is his HEART. ❤