Category Archives: Fallacy

It was all coming back again; the thoughts, the madness, the anxiety, and the stress I’ve been dealing with for these past years. It’s killing me softly. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I wanted to end all of these sufferings with just a click of a gun. I had never been trusted by anyone around me. I was working on my own. Pay the house rent and expenses for school. My family? They all disowned me. My dad never even appreciates all I achieved. All he could see was mistakes and mistakes alone. I worth just a trashcan to them and I don’t deserve this kind of treatment. I deserve to be respected and trusted. They bring me to this world and I never ask them to bring me and just treat me like this.

I had a break up too just ten days ago. This guy just broke up with me because he can’t take the pressure I’m giving into the relationship. Because I had too much problem but I guess it’s not the only reason. Moving on with too much problem is very hard but I am trying my best to do so. I am praying that writing this can help with my depression. I know I’m not the only one having these thoughts. All I could say is fight. We still had ourselves to lean on. People can never understand us. They never would.

 

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EVS’s Santa 2017

Beauty is a Fallacy

 

Wherever I go or whatever kind of place I am,

I always see a billboard with a woman

A white skin, a straight hair, a long nose, a small face

The ideal beauty that every woman wish.

 

My friends always say my rich chocolate skin is ugly

I would be much prettier without it.

They said my curly hair looks like a broom without a handle

My height is “too small” for an old teenager.

 

All these years I just swallow everything,

As I’m inferior than most of women I’ve seen.

In my class I was the only one with much darker skin,

That’s why “nigger” is my name.

 

All these years I just learn to love,

My height, my skin, my imperfections and doubts

I don’t blame God for making me this

I just hate the standard beauty I need to achieve.

 

I’d never seen a much darker Filipina in any advertisement

I’d never seen a woman with my color been praised

I’d never experience someone told me “You’re skin is very pretty”

All I can hear is “what ifs” from people with narrow heads in terms of real beauty.

 

Beauty isn’t about my skin color or my height or my hair

Beauty is about uniqueness and being fair

Beauty isn’t about fashion and beauty trends

Beauty is the ability to appreciate someone for whom they’ve been.

 

I tell them that beauty isn’t always what you can see.

It’s an illusion and a fallacy,

It’s a kind of perception with different meaning,

No standard beauty is alike as we’re peculiar being.

 

Yet people put label on things,

If you’re dark, you’re ugly; if you’re white, you’re pretty

When in fact beauty is just temporary,

What beneath that flawless skin wasn’t a doll,

What remains that pretty face was a skull.

 

Yes, they might be gorgeous with their skin, their hair, their height

But how about the inside of their heart?

Is it white and flawless as they’ve been?

Or darker than the darkest of a human skin?

 

It’s like telling God how ugly and unpleasant everything He creates.

As if there still a beauty left after death.

As if God will asked how beautiful you are on Earth,

As if He cared more about your face and not your deeds.