Internal Exile

I can hear voices and I see other people,

But I just can’t seem to connect with them,
There is a veiled shadow that clings to me,
And it seems to render me all but invisible,

And when I dare to make myself known,
I stumble and stagger to carry conversation,
Constantly making mistakes and blunders,
I see gestures but nothing makes any sense,
Frustration and Anger are so identical to me,
I cannot and dare not try to tell them apart,

The sharp, icy dread of making eye contact
stabs into me with reckless abandonment,
Mind overwhelmed by such social nuances,
Thoughts jumbling themselves into a mess,
People become unnerved by my presence,
Try as I might, I can’t make a connection,

And then a dark, infernal voice bubbles up,
A voice I’ve known so well for so long now,
“Run away now, you just don’t belong here,
There’s no place in society for your Autism,
Go back into the cold shadows of the void,”

I open my mouth in desperate protest but
no words will dare to come to my defense,
Instead, Guilt and Shame pour past my lips,
Acridly burning as they force their way down,
Following by the freezing grip of isolation as
it pulls me, dragging me back into the abyss,

Watery shadows rushing in a great deluge,
Closing in on me and submerging my mind,
With my last gasp, I curse a world gone cold,
Fighting the exhaustion of futile frustration,

The urge to let the shadows drown me away,
I fight to resist the siren call of eternal silence.

By:ย Hegemony read more @ย http://allpoetry.com/Hegemony

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