Being a writer is something I have always dream about.
With english not being my first language and everything and my never-ending procrastination I never even bother to make the effort.
You can tell from all the mistakes I am making as I am typing this.
I want today to actually be the day, the day where I actually stop thinking and start acting!
No more watching stupid online videos, senseless texting or even those ADHD space out. I going for my dreams and I am going hard!
I can do it! I mean if other people are doing it why can’t I? All I need is the will power and enough of sleepless night and I am all set!
“What if I can’t make it and give up?” that is the same question that goes to my head every time I try to actually put my back bone into a project.
I always think that deep down even when I start-up strong and good it usually is a matter of time before I slip up and go back to my old ways.
Then this falsify hope feeling comes back again the vicious cycle rolled around me again. I mean I been down that path so many times I don’t even know if I should even bother anymore.
I am just tired now, tired of being the same useless dreamer. To dream an empty dream isn’t worth dreaming at all. What if I could actually make?
What if I stopped being a weak and pushed a little hard, no a lot harder! I want to go the distance and I won’t give up this time and will fight until my war is in won!
My war on fear, life and despair! God and my side and endless perseverance than this time just this once I might actually do it.